next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
