I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
