i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
