i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
