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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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