I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
