Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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