How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
