By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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