I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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