you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
