Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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