We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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