Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
