Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
