K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this beer tastes like vomit already
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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