I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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