Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it glows. i had to have it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
