she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
