? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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