I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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