no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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