It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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