Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
