he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
