Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
