It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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