apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize