turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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