Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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