I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i came on her dog
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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