So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
