If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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