oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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