SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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