There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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