and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
