and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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