woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
