I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
