look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
