the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
