At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
