WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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