Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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