Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
