You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
