whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In America we eat man semen.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
