if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
