a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
