Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
