like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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