Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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