I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
