This show inspires me to have sex in space
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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