What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
