and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
