Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
