I want to walk on stilts...naked
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
