p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
